okay pat passed out under dana's car
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
