she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
