So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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