He is an equal opportunity slut.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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