Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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