you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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