I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
