Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
