I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
