I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
