so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
