You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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