What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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