Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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