Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
