Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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