we're blogging at a bar
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
