Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
