He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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