There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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