see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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