i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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