Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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