Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
