So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
