He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
