I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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