Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
