I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
