It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
