dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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