I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
