your parents love me but you hate me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm passing your future prison.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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