Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
