note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
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Do I have a choice?
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Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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