it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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