She's JV to your varsity
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
