We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
