she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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