you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The air was thick with penises
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
