What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
