I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
