yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
