she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
