I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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