I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
