At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
