Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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