I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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