forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
