I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
