how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
