forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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