dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
