I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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