Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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