Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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