She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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